Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why We Tell Our Girls "Their" Story

Rose and Roni are adopted - a simple fact that can be so very complicated.  We have always told them their adoption story.  Even when they didn't really have any idea what we were saying.   We started to tell it to them even in China.  Sadly we don't have all the details, just the limited information supplied by their SWI.  So we tell the story as best we can and to the level of their ability to understand.  As they grow the tougher questions have started to come up.

For a while they thought that all babies were adopted.  It made sense that they would think all families were formed by adoption since it is all they knew.  Then they began to notice pregnant women and we had to have the talk - you know the one about babies and where they come from and birth mommies in more detail.  So far I don't think the full impact of their story is fully understood, but that day is coming.

So we tell them their story often - it helps us to become more comfortable with the discussion and conveys that there is nothing to be hidden or shameful about adoption.  Yes, I know adoption is about loss for the birth parents and a loss of part of an adoptees identity, but it also a beautiful thing where a family can exist where it didn't before where you look at your child and have a "there you are" moment.  I've looked for you for so long and now here you are.

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